


Jared and Jenny

by thefalconnn (sex_drugs_moriarty)



Series: Meme Fills [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Kidnapped Jensen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Muteness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 02:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1841002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sex_drugs_moriarty/pseuds/thefalconnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for spnkinkmeme.</p><p>Original Prompt:</p><p>"Jensen is a beautiful, broken thing and Jared wants him all to himself. Whether Jensen likes it or not.<br/>Basically, I am so going to hell for this, but I really want a fic with stalker!Jared being obsessed with a mentally or physically handicapped Jensen.<br/>That is all."</p><p>(rating may change)</p><p>--ON HAITUS--</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Can't Keep Away

Jensen doesn't talk.

 

He never has, at least, not that he can remember. His mother tells him that he could, once, but one day he got lost. He was gone for a week and a half (momma calls it the most terrifying week of her life) and when he came back, he didn’t talk anymore.

 

Momma likes to think that he can, if he really puts his mind to it. But Jensen hasn't said a thing since he was five years old, and it’s been almost fifteen years since then. The doctors said it was shock at first, and then later said he just didn't want to talk.

 

But Jensen knows better. He tries to talk, he really, really does. But the words get stuck at the tip of his tongue, won’t force their way out of his throat. It feels like the letters are choking him. The words make his vision dim, make him want to _runrunrun_ and hide and all he really knows is that talking is _bad_.

 

His mother tried for a long time. She begged, she tried bribing him. She even slapped him once, tired of his silence, before she realized he just….couldn’t. She held Jensen close to her and cried for a long time. Jensen still hears her sometimes, when she thinks he’s asleep. But his momma resolved that Jensen was going to live life to the fullest, voice or not.

 

So she fired the therapists and got a new doctor, signed Jensen and herself up for ASL classes and made sure Jensen never, ever ever went anywhere without a pen and paper.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Jensen’s on his way to his job when he first sees something out of the ordinary. His routine is very straightforward; get on the bus, wait, get off the bus, work. He doesn’t do much outside of working, because that would mean interacting with more people and Jensen doesn’t want that happening.

 

He’s walking from the bus stop when he first sees it. It’s a huge guy, a giant really. He’s leaning casually against the brick wall Jensen passes everyday and smoking a cigarette. The man looks him up and down, so intensely it makes Jensen uncomfortable and he walks a little faster.

 

When he gets to work, he promptly forgets all about it.

 

* * *

 

About two days afterward, he notices someone walking behind him, keeping just a slow enough pace so that they can linger back about two steps or so. He hurries, just a little, to see if they match him, and sure enough, they do. He scowls and clutches his bag to his chest; he’s been mugged before and he’s not interested in it happening again. He’s  not fast enough, though, and the person behind him speeds up enough to swerve over right in front of him and block his way.

 

“Hey,” says a voice. It’s the man from the other day, and he’s standing in Jensen’s way.

 

Jensen keeps his head down and rips his pad and paper from his side pocket, scribbling quickly.

 

 _‘If you’re a mugger, I can assure you I don’t have anything worth taking,_ ’ he writes, holding the pad up in front of his face.

 

The person laughs, and it’s deep and rumbly. “Relax, gorgeous. I've been watching you, and just thought I’d say hello.”

 

Jensen flips to a new page. _‘Watching me? For a stalker, you’re doing a bad job- i’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to let the target know you’re creeping around.’_ '

 

The person sighs. “I know, I know, it’s bad stalker etiquette.” He grips Jensen’s jaw in one hand, tugging his face up to eye level before he can pull away. “But you were just so pretty I couldn't resist.”

 

Jensen tries to tug away, but the man is strong and holds him tight, bringing his other hand to wrap around Jensen’s wrist.

 

“I’ve been watching you for so long, Jensen. How your mother even lets you out of the house is beyond me, with those big green eyes. And let’s not forget those lips, Jesus wept…”

 

Jensen recoils, tries to pull away again. “Ah ah ah,” says the man. “No running.” He scans the street around them, for what, Jensen doesn’t know, and then starts to drag him, ever so slowly into the alleyway behind him.  

 

What he does know, though, is that a strange man is very close to kidnapping him or at least taking him someplace he doesn’t want to go, and since Jensen can’t scream or even cry out for help, he does the only other thing he can- kicks the man straight in the balls.

 

The man shouts in pain and lets Jensen go, very close to falling on his knees. Jensen backs as far away as he can and then runs blindly, forgetting all about work or the bag he’s left on the ground.

 

He runs all the way home, not stopping until he sees the chrome door of their garage. There’s nobody home, and Jensen shuts the door tightly behind him, twisting the lock over and over to make sure he’s safe.

 

* * *

 

His mother comes home beaming and bearing cartons of chinese. She pulls the food out the bags as Jensen sets the table, hands shaking just the tiniest bit. She tells him about her day, mouth running like a very happy faucet. Finally, she notices Jensen isn't responding much. “You’re quiet,” she says.

 

 _‘I’m always quiet,’_ he signs back. She rolls her eyes at him and smiles. “I guess you’re fine after all, if you can be sarcastic.”

 

He smiles thinly back at her. He feels tense and nervous, but he doesn’t want to worry her anymore than he does already.

 

There’s a sudden ring of their doorbell. His mother gets up before he can and opens the door. A very tall, very familiar man is at their doorstep and Jensen is paralyzed in his chair.

 

“Hello,” says his mother.

 

“Hi,” he says back, warmly. “Is this the Ackles residence?”

 

“It sure is,” says his mother. “Anything we can do for you?”

 

“I’m Jared Padalecki. I found this on the sidewalk earlier,” he says, raising a hand. In his giant paw is Jensen’s backpack, and he grins at Jensen from his perch on the doorstep.

 

 _‘No,’_ thinks Jensen, hollowly. _‘Of all the stupid things to forget...’_

 

Distantly, he can hear Jared and his mother talking, but it feels like time has slowed down and focused on the bag strap crushed in Jared’s giant fist.

 

“....saw the name on the strap…..belonged to….had to bring it back…”

 

His momma smiles warmly at Jared, and waves Jensen over. “Look, Jensen, he’s brought back your things-which you didn’t tell me you’d lost, by the way-come and say thank you.”

 

He takes the bag from Jared numbly, opening it and taking out his pad. He turns it to a fresh page and writes _‘Thank you_ , in stiff, angry block letters. He practically throws the pad at Jared, who plucks it out of the air with a sunny little smile.”It’s no problem, Jensen,” says Jared, his tone low and provocative. “No problem at all.” He leaves after a few more minutes of small talk, and waves as he goes.

 

“Wasn’t he nice, Jensen? I wish there were more men like him around….”

  
Jensen wants to scream.  



	2. Jenny, Behave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on a little trip, and Jared gets a little upset.

The next day he walks to work hyper aware of his surroundings, jumping at every sound. He takes a longer, twistier route, getting off the bus two stops earlier and avoiding the block with the alleyway. He’s at the home stretch, nearly to his job, when a big hand grips his shoulder roughly and pins him against the nearby building.

 

“Hey, Jenny,” says Jared. “That was a mean trick you played on me yesterday, but that’s okay. We’ve got even more time to play now..”

 

Jensen can feel the blood running out of his face. “Don’t be scared,” says Jared, stepping closer, letting go of his shoulder and trapping him with his body, instead. “See, you’ve got to remember, Jensen,” he says, nosing at his neck. “I’ve been watching you for a long time. I know your habits...your likes, your dislikes...your desires.” He punctuates his sentence with a sharp bite to Jensen’s collarbone.

 

“I’ve been dreaming of this forever,” Jared says sweetly. He runs his large hands up and down Jensen’s sides, nuzzles at his cheek in a parody of a caress. “I love you so much,” he sighs out, turning to catch Jensen’s lips.

 

He dodges, wriggling in Jared’s hold. He shuffles a bit, trying to kick Jared again, or maybe headbutt him. “No, Jensen,” says Jared. “You don’t want to do that.”

 

“If you hit me, I’ll get angry,” he says, voice dropping to a near growl. “And it’ll go very….badly for you if I get angry.”

 

“Anyway,” he says, kissing Jensen’s cheek. “We’re finally together, we shouldn’t fight.” He’s back to this cutesy, loving tone, and Jensen thinks he might have liked him if he wasn’t so obviously batshit crazy.

 

Jared smiles down at him, loosens one hand to stroke over Jensen’s cheek. “Bet you’re thinking I’m crazy, huh?” Jensen doesn’t move, and his hazel eyes narrow. “I’m _not_ ,” he says, running his hand down to press hard at Jensen’s throat. “Do you think I’m crazy, Jensen?”

 

Jensen shakes his head no, as much as he can with Jared’s massive hand clutching at his windpipe. “Good,” says Jared, and lets his throat go. Jensen leans back against the wall and coughs, hard. “I’m sorry, baby,” says Jared, tucking his face in Jensen’s neck and kissing him there. “Sometimes I lose my temper, you know. It was so awful, waiting for you all this time by myself…”

 

Jensen stands stock still, like rabbit that catches wind of a predator nearby. Everything in him is telling him to get away, now, and yet, for some reason, he loosens up just enough to wrap his arms around Jared’s shoulders.

 

Jared pulls back, beaming. “I knew you’d lighten up, Jenny.”

 

He starts to mouth at Jensen’s neck again, curling his hands over Jensen’s hip and thrusting against him. He’s all exuberance and no finesse, like a puppy, or more aptly, a wild dog.

 

Jensen struggles against him, pushing at his shoulders. Jared pulls away, face darkening. “Are you telling me, no, Jensen?”

 

Jensen shakes his head, quickly, trying to mouth out the words as best he can.

  
“Oh,” says Jared. giggling. “You’re trying to tell me something. Poor little Jenny, can’t say a word, can you?”

 

“I’ll get your pad for you,” he says, smiling. “But remember, Jenny, if this is another trick I’m going to be veryyy angry.”

 

Jensen nods, and Jared pulls away to rummage through Jensen’s backpack. He pulls out the paper and pen, and looks Jensen dead in the eyes. “Don’t forget, okay?”

 

_‘I won’t,'_ he writes, shakily. _‘I won’t forget Jared, I promise.’_

 

“Good,” says Jared, happily. “Now what were you saying before?”

 

_‘I just thought we should go somewhere a little more private,’_ writes Jensen, swallowing hard. He has no idea what he’s doing, but he knows Jared could hurt him, badly if he really wanted to. _‘Anybody could see us here.’_

 

“You’re so smart Jenny,” says Jared. He sighs and plants a kiss right on Jensen’s lips before he can dodge away again. It’s not violent or brutal like he expected, but gentle and rather sweet, the kind of kiss you hear about in books.

 

He smiles at Jared, just a little. “Gosh, you’re pretty, Jenny. I just want to look at you all the time…”

 

He wraps a strong arm around Jensen’s waist and pulls him along, walking towards an inconspicuous black car. He pushes Jensen inside, gently, and then gets inside himself. He’s so tall that he has to push the seat all the way back, and Jensen wonders how a creepy, unhinged stalker can manage to be so...precious. “We’ll go to my house,” he says, and Jensen gulps. For all that Jared has been...relatively gentle with him, he could still be some sort of mass-stalker-serial-killer combo that means very bad things for Jensen.

 

He grabs his pad and writes. _‘Do you have people over often?’_

 

“Nope,” says Jared, popping the P. "Just you, because you’re special and I love you."

 

Jensen exhales harshly in relief; no dead bodies then, hopefully. _'How do you love me,’_  he writes. _‘We barely know each other..’_

 

“I know tons about you, Jensen. Now you just have to get to know me.”

 

_‘But,’_ Jensen starts to write, before a massive hand closes over his and stops his pen. “No more talking, Jenny. We’re going now, and I can’t read and drive.”

 

Jensen nods, firmly enough for Jared to catch. “You’re such a good-boy, Jenny,” he says, and runs a hand through Jensen’s hair. He pets him with one hand and pulls off with the other, lulling Jensen enough for him to doze lightly.

 

“You should sleep now Jenny,” says Jared. “We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

 

Jensen’s eyes slip shut without his permission.

 

* * *

 

“Wakey wakey, Jenny.”

 

Jensen shifts slightly and shakes his head. He’s so tired, and his seat is so comfortable. A warm hand brushes over his forehead, fingertips rubbing gently into his scalp. It feels good, and he leans into it. Wherever he is, he doesn’t want to leave. His face is turned into the person’s palm, his mouth open and slack from sleep. The palm is warm and smooth, and he slips further into sleep against it.

 

Jared laughs softly and slowly pulls away, moving carefully so that Jensen’s head rests against the seat instead of lolling backwards. He gets out of the car as quietly as possible- he doesn’t want to wake his baby up. He pulls his and Jenny’s bags out of the car and throws them up on the stoop of the front porch, watching all the while to make sure Jenny doesn’t wake up and freak out. His Jenny is good at that, voice or no, and it’s sure to make him feel guilty if he scares his baby again.

Their first meeting was a mistake, on Jared’s part. He’d wanted Jenny for so long he couldn’t help himself and ended up dragging him into the alley, scaring him so badly he ran. It turned out okay, but he can’t help feeling the tinest bit ashamed. He wants Jenny to be afraid of him, but only afraid enough so that he won’t run, won’t leave. He wants to give Jenny all the love in he has for as long as he can, and he intends to do just that.

 

And he doesn’t care if Jenny wants him or not, either.

 

* * *

 

By the time Jared finishes unpacking the car, it’s dark. He scoops Jenny out of the car and carries him in the house, head tucked against his shoulder. He’s breathing slow and deep, hot little puffs of air brushing at Jared’s neck.

 

He moans a little- his Jenny is so, so sweet and he _wants_.

 

“Not yet,” he reminds himself.

 

Jenny stirs a little at the sound of his voice, blinking sleepily and inside he squees a little. “It’s nothing, Jenny, go back to sleep.”

 

He lays back on the couch and settles Jenny on top of him, moving him so he splays out all over Jared like a blanket. They can afford to sleep for awhile, and so Jared closes his eyes and settles in for a little nap.

  
  


* * *

 

Jensen wakes up slowly. He blinks a few times, trying to see clearly. His bed is soft and hard in all the right places, and also seems to be...moving? There are big, thick arms wrapped around him, hot and heavy. He’s warm and he feels safe, comfortable.

 

And then he remembers who he’s with, and sits up so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t get whiplash. He tries to tug free of Jared’s arms- to no avail, and so he sits there, half straddling him as he works to get free.

 

“Stop moving, Jenny,” Jared grumbles, and he freezes. Jared pulls him back down and to the side, hugging him tightly to his chest and rubbing his nose in Jensen’s hair. He lays there, stiff as a board until Jared loosens his grip some, rolling over to pin Jensen between him and the couch.

 

“Morning, baby,” he says, sleepily. He leans over and plants a wet one right on Jensen’s lips. He keeps kissing even though Jensen hasn’t moved, sucking gently at Jensen’s lower lip. He nips hard at it and it makes Jensen gasp, mouth opening just wide enough for Jared to slip his tongue inside. He licks inside Jensen’s mouth, holding him down with one hand and sucking at his lax tongue. Jensen doesn’t move except to breathe, eyes wide and wet.

When Jared’s had his fill, he lets Jensen go, sitting up and rummaging through a pile on the coffee table. He whisks out a pen and pad and tosses them at Jensen.

 

“I’m sure you’ve got a to say, right baby?”

 

_‘Yes,’_ writes Jensen. _‘For starters, where are we?’_  He’s not going to ask about the kiss. He can’t. Not right now.

 

Jared smiles, but there’s a hard edge to it. “At my house, baby.”

 

Jensen bites at his lip. He doesn’t want to piss Jared off, but he doesn’t know where he is and his momma is probably wonderi- oh god, momma. She’s probably terrified.

 

_‘Jared’_ , he writes. _‘Jared, please tell me where we are.’_

 

“At my house, Jenny,” he responds, stiffly. “No more questions, okay? We’re together. Just be happy that we’re together.”

 

Jensen feels his skin crawl a little. Jared’s being so evasive, so...hard with him, and every warning bell he’s got is ringing loud and clear.

 

_‘Jared please, just tell me where we are. I promise I won’t freak out. I just need to know how far away I am from my momma, Jared, that’s all.’_ He’s lying. The moment he finds out where they are, he’s planning to get the hell out.

 

“Silly Jenny,” scoffs Jared. “I know you. You think I’ll tell you, like the big dumb asshole you think I am, like they all think I am. You think I’ll tell and then you can run off and leave me.”

 

_‘Jared, no’_ writes Jensen, before Jared rips the pad out of his hands.

 

“Stop lying!” Jared screams. “I hate it when you lie to me!” 

He grabs Jensen with one large hand, pushing him back down into the couch. Jared grips him by the throat again with his other hand, hard enough to really do some damage this time. Jensen writhes under his hands, fighting him as best he can.

 

All Jared does is watch, eyes focused and intense.

 

He holds him for what seems like hours, as Jensens visions dims and his legs and arms go still. Jared sits over him, practically on top of him with his long fingers pressing deep into his throat. Jensen doesn’t want to die like this, strangled by an insane man in a foreign home. Jensen doesn’t want to die at all.

 

There are tears falling down his face, now. His cheeks are damp and he can’t breathe and it hurts, hurts so badly and all the while Jared is watching, hazel eyes burning into a deep bronze. They’re the last thing Jensen sees before he passes out.

 

"Why couldn't you just listen to me, Jenny? I said no more questions."

 


	3. I dreamed a dream of time gone by...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen has a tough time of it, and dreams a dream that's not a dream. 
> 
> Jared's done some awful things, but he's not all bad, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> repost, because this chapter posted like three separate times? 
> 
> mobile editing is hard. really, really hard.

 

Jensen’s in the dark.

 

He blinks, but the sights don’t change. All around him is pitch black, and wherever he is, it’s very quiet. He shifts nervously in his chair, and finds that he can’t move. His hands are wrapped tightly behind his back and tied, and his feet are bound.

 

He can feel the panic setting in, making his throat tight and his skin itch.

 

He's alone. He's in the dark and he's alone and Jensen doesn't like the dark, and it's too quiet and he can't see and his throat hurts and where is he, where is he?

 

He has to get out, momma will be looking for him, yes, momma will be looking and she'll be scared and she'll cry and why is it so dark?

 

He's hyperventilating, he can hear it. His breath whistles in and out, in and out, and he's crying, he can feel it.

 

He's so _scared._

* * *

 

_Nobody's coming to get you, Jensen._

_You're gonna stay right here, with me._

 

There are greasy hands pulling at his neck.

 

_Don't you wanna stay with me?_

The man comes closer, breathes right in his ear.

_Can't you tell how much I want you?_

 

A tongue licks over his throat, slimy and wet.

 

_You just stay still for me, Jenny-baby._

_Don't say a word._

Jensen screams.

 

* * *

 

 

Jared feels bad.

 

He hadn't meant to knock him out, but Jenny has a way of making him so mad.

 

"Get it together Jared," he mutters to himself.

 

He'd laid Jenny down in his bed, covered him up with blankets and fluffed his pillow. Convinced himself Jenny was just tired and needed to take a little nap.

 

It was same thing he did with his sister, Meggie. But that was when Jared was young, when he didn't know his own strength.

 

Meggie never did stop napping, not even after Jared's daddy begged her too, not even when Jared's momma started screaming.

 

Not even when they took Jared away.

 

But that was a long time ago, and Jared has Jenny now.

 

* * *

 

 

_You're so stupid, Jared._

_What kinda dumb freak are you?_

_Oh Jared, do you have to be so clumsy?_

_You know boy, for all that room in your head, you don’t have a lick of sense._

_Jared, let your sister go now. Let your sister go._

_Bye Meggie!_

 

* * *

 

Faintly, Jared hears somebody crying.

 

"no..."

 

It's Jenny.

 

But Jenny doesn't talk.

 

* * *

 

Jared goes in the bedroom and Jenny is sobbing, fighting with the sheets and talking to someone who isn't there.

 

"Jenny," he says, cautiously. "Jenny, you're dreaming."

 

"There's nobody here but me and you," says Jared.

 

But wherever his Jenny is, he can't hear him.

He keeps crying, wriggling. Jared's afraid he might hurt himself, he's fighting so hard.

 

"It's okay Jenny," he says, coming over to the bed. He's bigger than Jenny, taller and stronger, and so he wraps him up tight, squeezing him close until he can't struggle anymore.

 

"It's okay Jenny. I promise."

 

He's practically squashing Jensen now, petting him with one huge hand. Eventually Jenny stops crying so hard, and his breathing starts to even out. Jared keeps on holding him, whispering over and over that it's okay.

 

Because it is.

 

Jenny's with someone who loves him now, not that awful momma of his, that awful momma who lies.

 

She told everyone that somebody took Jenny away, but Jared knows that's a lie. He saw her give him away with his very own eyes.

 

* * *

Jensen wakes up again, throat like fire.

 

"Hi Jenny," Jared whispers.

 

"I'm glad you aren't crying anymore."

 

Crying, thinks Jensen. When was I crying? He remembers pissing Jared off, Jared's hand around his throat.

 

He remembers a dream...

 

It comes rushing back, vividly, and he pushes Jared off, tumbling out of bed and emptying his guts all over the floor.

 

_You just stay quiet, you hear me?_

He moans from his spot on the ground, feels the hot rush of tears under his eyelids.

 

"Sorry," says Jared. He scoops Jensen off the floor tenderly, kissing his balmy forehead.

 

"I made you sleep," says Jared. "And that was bad."

 

He nods as best he can from Jared's shoulder.

 

Jared carries him very gently down the hallway, and sets him on his feet in the bathroom. The tile is cold under his toes, and it gives him something to focus on.

 

Jared startles him by turning on the shower, the pipes squeaking under the pressure of the water. Steam curls out from over the glass door, and it smells vaguely sweet.

 

Jared tugs at the gem of Jensen's t-shirt, and he jumps. "It's okay Jenny," he says, and it sounds reassuring, familiar. "I just want to clean you up."

 

Even after all Jared's done, there's something in him that Jensen finds genuine. He nods again, carefully stripping off his t-shirt and pants.

 

Jared looks at him rather pointedly, and so he slides off his briefs as well, ignoring the little voice in his head that says _still a kidnapper_.

 

He starts to step into the water, but he's weak from the stress and the puking and he nearly falls over. Jared hmm's a little and pushes him down to sit on the toilet seat, scratching his head absently before getting undressed himself.

 

Jensen's sure his face says it all, because Jared pauses.

 

"As much as I want to make love to you, Jenny, I'm not going to do it now."

 

He pulls his shirt over his head, drops his pants and pulls Jensen up by with one hand, holding him up by the waist.

 

He leans in, close enough to kiss.

 

"Soon enough Jenny, but not now."

 

And with that, he pushes Jensen in the shower and gets in behind him, fiddling with the something behind him.

 

The water's nice and hot and it feels good, and Jensen sighs in pleasure.

 

Jared pops a cap behind him and he can hear him squeezing something into his palm, before he runs his hands down Jensen's arms.

 

They're smeared with soap and they smell fresh and clean. Jared scrubs his hand over Jensen's stomach, his back. He soaps his thighs and his neck and everywhere else.

 

By the time he's finished, Jensen is hard, a blush painting his cheeks.

 

Behind him, Jared laughs, pressing a sweet kiss under Jensen's jaw.

 

He moans a little, almost uncontrollably, and leans into it, and Jared takes it as his cue to continue.

 

They stand under the water for a long time, his face buried in Jensen's neck. He kisses him, sucks little marks there, until Jensen melts completely, leaning back against him.

 

He can feel Jared behind him, and he's hard too, though he's not doing anything about it.

 

Jared turns him under the water so they're face to face, and kisses him.

 

It's much different than earlier; Jensen is pliant and willing this time. He lets Jared into his mouth, winds his arms around his neck and ruts softly against him.

 

He needs it, needs this closeness, this reassurance.

 

He needs Jared.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this took me so long, but i hope you enjoyed.
> 
> btw, does this count as stockhom syndrome?


	4. Back to the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback chapter?
> 
> some stuff gets revealed, probably.

When Jared was eight years old, a new family moved into his neighborhood.

They were nothing special to Jared; a mommy, a daddy and a little boy too young to be anyone interesting.

They moved in two houses down, to a pretty yellow house with white daisies in the yard and grass so green it looked like it came straight out of a picture.

Jared rode past their house everyday on Jeff's old bike, coasting by on thin, squealing rubber wheels that left ugly marks on the pavement when it was too hot outside.

Sometimes Jared rode by and heard noises, bangs and shouting, but when he asked his mama about it, she shushed him and told him it was nothing.

Didn't sound like nothing to Jared, but he knew better than to say so.

\--  
One day Jared rides by and there's a little boy in the yard.

He's sitting, curled up with his hands over his ears.

It's a loud day today, and distantly Jared can hear arguing. He skids to a stop in front of their gate, and pulls up his helmet (it's too big, but mama makes him wear it anyway).

Up close, the little boy seems even smaller, tiny and dotted with freckles everywhere Jared's eyes can reach.

It reminds him of ice cream, the fancy kind his mama makes on holidays. It's pale and mad with real vanilla, black flecks sprinkled through the cream. 

"You're like ice cream," he says absently. 

The little boy doesn't move, doesn't even seem to hear him.

But his freckles are captivating and Jared wants a better look, so he leans his bike against the fence, and then hops over it.

He jogs over to the little boy and plops down next to him in the grass. 

The little boy blinks, big green eyes luminous in the sunlight. 

"Hi," says Jared.  
"Hi, says the little boy.

"You look like ice cream," Jared says.

"I do?" 

"Yeah," says Jared, and then grasps the little boy's hand in his and licks a stripe from wrist to elbow. 

Jared's disappointed that he doesn't taste like ice cream and he tells him so. "I thought you'd be sweet," he says.

The little boy shrugs, staring at him with jade colored eyes.  
"Sorry, he murmurs.

"It's okay," says Jared. "I forgive you."  
The little boy nods at him. "I'm Jensen." 

"Cool, I'm Jared. Can I call you Jenny? You sound kinda like a Jenny."

"Okay," says Jenny, shyly. "Okay." 

Later, when Jared goes home and tells his family all about pretty Jenny with the grass green eyes (who he's going to marry he's older), his big brother laughs and says,  
"Stupid Jared, boys can't marry boys," and Jared's daddy claps him on the shoulders and explains that that's "not how things are done down in Texas." 

Meggie follows him around all evening, singing _'Stupid Jared, Stupid Jared'_  
over and over until Jared throws a plate at her head to shut her up and gets sent to bed with no dinner.

\--

He and Jenny play a lot after that, but never at Jared's house, because Jenny's mama doesn't want him going too far and Jared doesn't want Jeff getting near his Jenny.

They still have fun though, and sometimes they race in the big front yard (Jared always slows himself down, because Jenny's so short) and they play cops and robbers and tag and swim in Jenny's pool.

Once, when Jared's sure Jenny's mama isn't looking, he curls up close to Jenny under the big tree in his backyard and gives him a kiss like he sees on tv sometimes.

"What'd you do that for?" Jenny asks him.  
"Cause you're pretty and I like you," says Jared.

Jenny looks confused. "But I'm a boy," he says quietly.

Jared shrugs. "I don't care." 

Jenny doesn't say anything, but he looks happy.

\--

Sometime during the summer, Jared goes by Jenny's house and sees a big car there, the trunk packed full of stuff. Jenny's dad comes stamping out of the house and slams the trunk of the car, screaming back at Jenny's mama the whole way.

_You're gonna pay for this, Donna!_  
 _I swear to god!_

_I never laid a hand on that boy that he didn't want, and you know it, you bitch!_

He can see Jenny in the doorway of the house, eyes wide with fear and hiding behind his mama's legs.

It's not a good day to come by.

\-- 

Jenny's sad a lot the next few times he comes over to play. 

"My daddy left and I don't know why," he says solemnly. Jared gives him a hug; a lot of hugs.

"Is your dad nice?" 

"Yeah," says Jenny. "We play a lot of games and stuff." 

"Oh," says Jared.

\--  
A few weeks later, Jared rides over and Jenny's mama says he can't come inside because Jenny's packing.

"To go where?" He asks, a little scared. "Are you moving away?" 

Jenny's mama laughs, and it sounds old and fake like Jared's mama does sometimes when he breaks something (again, Jared?). 

"Just for a little while. About a week." 

"Okay," says Jared, sadly. "Can I go and say goodbye?" 

"Of course you can, Jared. Right upstairs, you remember." 

He nods and heads off to Jenny's room. He likes Jenny, but something about his mama sets him on edge.

It reminds him of those voices he hears sometimes, the ones that sound nice but make him do bad things like throwing things at Meggie or putting the dog in the bathtub full of water and not letting him back out. 

He's not allowed to tell anybody about them or else his daddy'll get mad, but he told Jenny about them one time. Jenny just nodded and said that that was kinda weird but a that little weird was okay, and Jared felt all warm and tingly like the movies say. 

When he gets to Jenny's room, he makes sure nobody's around and then he squeezes Jensen tiiight. 

"I don't want you to go anywhere," he says sullenly.

"I don't think mama wants me to go either," says Jenny. "But if I go, I get to see my dad."

"But where?" 

"I dunno," says Jenny. "Mama gets really sad if I ask." 

 

\--

Jenny is gone much, much longer than a week.

Jenny's mama ends up on tv and Jared's mama stops letting him ride his bike so much and never after dark. 

Jared comes home late from his ride one day (the voices wanted him to stop at the lake and he agreed) and when he gets home his mama slaps him and then hugs him and cries and cries, and in the background he hears Jeff say "shoulda stayed gone." 

_Abduction_ they say, on the news. Jared doesn't know what it means, but he knows it's nothing good.

\--  
Jenny comes back on a windy afternoon in a blue police car, and his mama holds him and cries and cries.

All the while Jenny's eyes look flat and empty, and he doesn't hug her back, just hangs limply in her arms.

He doesn't talk anymore, or smile. Just sits there, quiet like death. 

Jared thinks he kind of likes it, but he doesn't tell anybody.

Jenny's mama tells the police that she doesn't know who took Jenny or why, but Jared knows that's a lie.

He keeps quiet though.

_I'll make you pay, Donna!_

\--  
In September, Jenny and his mama move away, and a new family moves in.

Jared never forgets him though, and for the rest of his life he's always a little partial to the color green (though it never matches Jenny's eyes). 

A few years later, Meggie takes a nap.

It makes the voices in Jared's skull sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crazy about this chapter, but it covers some important stuff,  
> I guess, and it was poking around in my brain.
> 
> We'll get back to the real action soon.
> 
> Jensen's mom isn't very honest, I think, but scared people do interesting things.


	5. Megan and the Big Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Jared.
> 
> He could really use some help, but he likes himself the way he is.

"You're such a freak, Jared." 

Jared sighs; this is nothing new, especially from his little sister. 

"You've only had one friend your entire life, and that was when you were _seven_." 

"I mean, it's not enough that you're dumber than a damn box of rocks, is it? Mom and Dad are ashamed of you, y'know. People keep telling them to send you away after what you did to the O'Donnell's cat, you fucking creep." 

The cat was a mistake, a careless gesture. He'd meant to bury it before anyone found out, but he forgot. 

Megan slaps at his arm. "You listenin' to me Jared?" 

The way she says it sets him off a little, gets the voices to buzzing. They don't like how Meggie talks to Jared and they keep telling him to get rid of her.

But Jared still faintly remembers the day his mama brought her home from the hospital, face smooshed and ugly looking in her pink blanket, and so he stays his hand.

"I can't go anywhere cause of you," she continues. "Soon enough eveyone'll think I'm a freak too. But I bet you'd enjoy that, huh? Just like you enjoy making mom and dad miserable." 

Jared's full on ignoring her now, and she knows it. Megan always did hate being ignored, but Jared's not one to entertain mindless repition. 

"Don't you ignore me, Jared!"

Silly little Megan, always too adult for her own good, too brash, too outspoken. 

She brings her hand back to slap him again, but Jared catches it this time.

He turns slowly to face her, eyes flat. "Don't you ever talk to me like that again," he says, and squeezes her hand hard enough to feel the bones rub together. "I mean it,  
Meggie." 

He lets her go, and she runs away, clutching her hand to chest, off to tattle to their mama.

\--  
Jared had the same talk with his parents when he was fifteen and tired of being hit when he did something his daddy didn't like.

His parents never did love him enough, he thinks, but it wasn't their fault; Jared was too big, too strange for them to get to know. His mama loves him in a distant sense, always ready to feed him but never willing to touch him or hug him. He unnerves her, he knows, the same way he does his daddy.

He always thought his daddy was a little _too_ willing to beat him. 

One afternoon, Jared did something careless; he might've broken a dish maybe or talked back a little too much. 

His father lit into him, shouting nonsense as he snapped his leather belt.

Jared waited, nice and patient and didn't shed a tear, and when his daddy was breathing heavy and starting to tire, he stretched out one long arm and snatched the belt right outta his hand.

"You finished?" he'd asked, calmly. 

"Boy..." His father sort of shrank back; but Jared had that affect on people.

"This is the last time, _Daddy._ Hit me again and I'm gonna hit back next time, and we all know you ain't as strong as you used to be." 

He'd looked his father in the eyes the whole time, and eventually, his father was one who looked away first.

"Good," he'd said, and tossed the belt into a corner.

He never got beat again.

\--

The neighborhood changed a lot as Jared grew up, and with those changes came Jeremy Miller.

Jeremy Miller was blond, short and ugly with a nasty temper, and he never missed an opportunity to screw with Jared.

The other neighbors kept warning him to leave Jared alone, but he just wouldn't quit.

_You let that Padalecki boy be, Jeremy.  
Something ain't right with him._

Jared ignored him, the same way he ignored Meggie and Jeff (when he was home from college). He pissed the voices off, sure, but lots of people did, and he just wasn't worth the energy.

It all turned sour the day Jared walked home from school. He usually took his bike, but someone (Megan, probably) had let the air out of his tires and he didn't have the time to fill 'em up again. 

"Well, if it isn't Padalecki." 

"Jeremy," he said, and kept walking.

"Don't you fucking ignore me, Padalecki." 

It made Jared laugh, how much Jeremy sounded like Megan. 

"Something funny?" said Miller, speeding up to catch stride with Jared's long legs.

Jared kept walking.

"I said, is something funny, you fucking faggot?"

Jared stopped short so fast that Miller slammed into his back.

"What'd you call me?" 

"Called you a fag, cause that's what you are, or are you too stupid to unders-" 

The rest of his words were unfortunately mumbled by Jared's fist connecting with his face. 

\--

Jared beats him so hard there's blood left on his knuckles as the police drag him off. 

They drive him back home, throw him out of the car and make him sit on the curb as they tell his parents what happened. 

Jeremy has a broken nose and four of his teeth are missing, and he doesn't bother Jared again after that.

\--

"How could you," Megan's saying. She's had a crush on Miller since he moved here, and is distraught.

Jared's sitting on his bed, completely undistirbed by her shrieking.

"You stupid, stupid idiot," she says, screaming at him. "I hate you! I wish mom and dad would just get rid of you, I wish you'd die!" 

And Jared's not listening again, so this time, she slaps him in the face. 

Something in Jared snaps.

He stiffens, gets all the way up.

Meggie must realize she's really done it now, because she starts making for the door, but Jared grabs her before she can even make a noise.

He's got her by the throat, and it's like he's on autopilot, dragging her over to the bed and putting a pillow over her face and _holding._

She thrashes for a few minutes, making little hyuk-hyuk choking noises that sound pleasant to Jared's ears. Eventually she stops, and it's finally quiet.

"Told you not to hit me," Jared grunts.

\--

He carries her down the hall and tucks her in bed, sings a lullabye and says sweet dreams like their mama used to, and all the while he hears "well done, well done!"

When his parents come home and ask where she is, he says he doesn't know.

"Maybe she's sleeping or something." 

\--  
He knows they've found out when he hears the scream.

"Gerry, oh sweet Jesus, Gerry!" 

His father lumbers up the stairs and Jared follows like a ghost, quiet enough so he can observe.

Meggie's so white, and there are purple smudges around her neck.

His father starts shaking her, pulling at her clothes. "C'mon Meggie, c'mon. Smile for your old man, huh? Breathe for me, Meggie please, please..." 

Jared doesn't know why they're crying or why his mama's dialing 911. Meggie's already asleep, just like Buster the dog and the O'Donnells cat.

He shrugs and goes back downstairs and finishes his dinner. The paramedics come and so do the police and Jared does his best to look sad, though he really doesn't care. 

They take Meggie away and Jared's mama is hysterical, so they take her too.

\--  
The police ask a lot of questions, but eventually everything leads back to Jared.

His father comes up to his room, face blotchy and red. "Did you do it?" He asks, quietly. 

"Yeah," says Jared, nonchalant, and then dodges carefully as his father lunges at him.

"You fucking monster! You should've never been born, my god, my god.." 

Jared's heard it all before.

\--  
The police take Jared away for awhile and then they take him too a room and ask him lots of questions. 

"I just put her to sleep," says Jared, honestly. "She was being mean and she wouldn't be quiet and then she hit me even though I already told her not to." 

\--

They send Jared away to some sort of camp but he knows it's really the looney bin and he doesn't care.

It's nice and quiet and sometimes they do things, but mostly Jared sits in his room and talks to the voices or sleeps. His parents never come to visit, but that's okay. 

Jeff comes to see him, once, but they have to make him leave because all he does is shout and then try to punch Jared in the face.

They give him lots of pills, too, but he doesn't like how they make him feel- everything gets foggy and the voices get fuzzy- so he stops taking them.

Years pass this way, and Jared is fine and mostly content. Sometimes he fucks another patient, Chad, in the art room during lunch if he can swing it, because he's blond and tiny like Jenny was and Jared has needs, though Chad has blue eyes and no freckles.

He thinks about Jenny a lot, during his 'vacation'. What he'd look like now, how his eyes looked.

He thinks of the day they met, the taste of Jenny's skin on his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's that? two chapters in less than 24 hours?
> 
> but seriously, I can't stop writing this thing.
> 
> apparently I have a soft spot for Jared going off the deep end, who knew?
> 
> was it any good, guys?


End file.
